Edda

Edda Göring was the daughter of Hermann Göring - a Nazi criminal, Luftwaffe marshal, and war criminal sentenced to death in the Nuremberg Trials.

Edda always spoke very warmly of her father. For most of her life, she fought to defend his good name and to reclaim "Virgin and the Child" -  painting that had been given to her as a christening gift and confiscated after her father’s arrest.

The text below is my attempt to slip into her thoughts.

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I loved that painting. I still do. Once a year, on his birthday I visit the museum to look into her eyes - heavy with sadness? Or misunderstanding? The gold, peachy fabric falling from her shoulder.

Virgin and the Child by Lucas Cranach the Elder, the picture comes from Cranach Digital Archive.

Sometimes, if I am lucky, it takes me back, you know. And I can feel his presence behind my back. His heavy hands on my fragile shoulders. “If you ever forget how much I love you Little Sparrow - just look at this painting and you’ll remember”.

He was arrested the next day and the painting - Virgin and the Child - confiscated within a week with most of our possessions.  After the trial I spent years trying to get it back - just this one painting, nothing else. But they refused. Being his daughter meant I was refused many things but I never blamed him. It wasn’t his fault. His only mistake was loyalty and loyalty is a virtue, is it not? 

I don’t think there was one moment when I found out. There were pieces of the story whispered when they thought I wasn’t listening, conversations that stopped when I walked into the room, newspaper articles I found hidden during the trial. And then the documentary - you know the one with the piles of bo… But again he had nothing to do with it. How do I know? Because I knew my father. Someone so gentle, with such avid interest in art, music and literature could not possibly be involved in such atrocities. 

Hitler loved Wagner too? What do you mean? What has this to do with anything? 

No, you are not listening. You are asking all these questions because you want to feel better than me. But you’re not really. Trust me - none of you are. How do I know? I’ll show you. 

Stop for a second.

Wherever you are.

And close your eyes. 

Now listen closely to your breathing. In and out. In and out. 

You are five again. Everything is well. Your father or your mother. Someone you love. Someone that holds your hand when it’s dark. Someone that uncovers the wonders of the world for you. The beauty of nature, of art and music. Someone that you run to when you feel scared. Someone who is willing to give you everything and do anything for you. Who is the last place of safety that you will ever know.

Is this person there yet? In front of your eyes? Can you sense their scent again? The warmth of their touch. 

And now imagine it all being taken from you.

In a single second. You are left alone in dark woods and miss them more than ever before. 

And then you find out what they did to the world. 

Would you stop loving them? Would you? 

Edda Göring during the interview she gave to Swedish TV in 1986.